2025-07-20 - SiM AAD - Final Notes

on waking this morning, checking my e-mail and messages, i realize that the course is actually complete as of last night.  there's a bit of struggle with this, offset by having to feed the pets and address their needs.  i don't quite let it go until i'm halfway to rehearsal, admitting that the moment has passed for any last-minute work to dig into the material, and deciding i'm okay with this.  i still choose to keep the CaaD for this morning's sitting, at least, and i'll come back to my thoughts about this week afterward.

rehearsal.  the choice to set aside necessary talking.  there is good work, still:  at one point, having switched from a circulating role to one that is mostly listening and following the score to add a bass part, i find myself sitting through five others being unable to stop giggling.  i have a moment where i am actively wishing for this to go well, it's very close, but the constant dissolving into laughter eventually turns me sour, and it's kind of gross to literally feel hope be replaced by serious annoyance and cynicism.

on the way out the door, i mention to curt that necessary talking... i am unimpressed with my work.  but i am satisfied that i got a pretty clear experience of necessary talking, as well as the feeling of taking off the jacket, so to speak, when i let it go.

most of the rest of the day involves a long drive back from this week's rehearsal location, cleaning up of the house i have been watching, and returning home to a kitchen that needs restoration.  dinner is fancy pasta to use up some heirloom cherry tomatoes.  a movie is considered, but i decide to write the report for this week.

so, a report:

• Contact at a Distance each day.  this was successful in general, some days more than others.
• course material:  mostly each day for the guitar work; more on this in a bit.  regrettably nothing for the body counting work, this was a failure due to poor budgeting of time on my part.  but i do have the videos...
• video recording, several simple examples recorded and a couple longer examples.  one that i considered properly usable once it was done, and a couple ideas that need more refining.
• vocalization:  this alone could be a course project.  ear training and aural training are seriously lacking in most of my experiences on courses, and even just a little bit of this work is really valuable.  it's a challenge for me, my voice is scratchier than it was when i was regularly in choirs 20 years ago, and there are questions of range.  but my intonation is still generally spot-on, and the act of vocalizing pitch centers while playing a figure against it is highly illuminating.  in terms of getting ready for the august course, i think there's something here for me.

in terms of guitar material, i spent quite a bit of time with the anchor work, especially.  by the end of the week, i'd begun grafting it on to pre-existing work that will eventually all find its way online.  as mentioned last night:  it's hard to really dig into this material because it's predominantly geometrical.  it's useful when developing independence of fingers, and i am sure i will come back to the more pure expression of the idea, but my aims are increasingly funneled towards development of usable musical vocabulary that are genuinely mine.

necessary talking from breakfast to dinner, as practical:  this was the primary piece of work, and going in, i knew it was going to be difficult.  happily, i can report that i was right, it was very difficult.  choosing to restrict the active time to "breakfast to dinner" was the right choice, but i have to admit that i was really bad about keeping that boundary concrete in terms of an actual length of time.  it was easy to have coffee early on and then not eat anything until noon or later, and it was also easy to not have dinner until 10 pm at night.  if i do this again, it'll be something clearer like 8 am to 8 pm.  the actual practice got a little sloppy by the end of the week, with occasional comments and profanities slipping out under my breath, and a couple instances where i caught myself in the middle of leaving a comment on something online.  objectively, i would call this part of the whole thing a failure, but i got a really clear and constant taste of the act of switching back and forth, like switching in and out of character as an actor.  i've never had to drop in and out like that, and i think that was an unexpected success.

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falling asleep while writing up reports:  an old standby from boston days of having rehearsals on sunday and writing meeting minutes afterward.  good to know some things never change.

here's hoping the next SiM, i get to be physically present.