What I mean (part I).

At the end of the course in June, coming home was emotional for me, and a little surreal; when telling Victor about the course, he made a comment about how a course can sometimes feel a little Jungian, as if every last thing has some sort of significance and symbolism. A very accurate and appropriate comment.

Coming home after the OCG II course*, there was still the sense of surrealism. The flavor was different, though--the day itself was an extremely laid-back and peaceful travel day, and the weather in Seattle was a pretty close match for that of Boston. The other big difference was that, instead of this tsunami of "omigodwhatdidijustdo" accompanied by a dewy-eyed sense of wonder, the sense was of having really completed something, and having a focus.

This feeling of separate selves has been growing, lately. In a report to the current AAD course, I said something about my "life with guitar and Guitar Craft" and my "life in the world", and how life seems to be taking on this dichotomy. Taken a step further, one could also see this as "life with intention" and "life in reaction", and the struggle to unite the two as a whole has me wondering about how and where I am spending my energies. Anyone who knows me personally knows that this is becoming a sort of common theme for me, sometimes expressed as "What am I doing here?" An appendage to that question that rarely gets vocalized would be something along the lines of "And how does it help what I am doing?"

Some of these concepts have been getting stirred up, lately. There have been some ideas that have been floating around in my head--changing jobs, moving in Boston, moving elsewhere--and they all are coming back to this idea of "What and How?" An additional conceptual idea that is presenting itself, one that is related to timing, is more of a "When and Where?"

More tomorrow.

*This will be the next major thing that gets posted here, along with the finalization of the June course. Just in case you're on the edge of your seat.