Hard on myself.

At work, tonight, a coworker of mine--my boss, really, though it's a little funny thinking of a girl that is several years younger than me as my boss--noted that I tend to be really hard on myself, and asked why that was.

I gave an evasive answer, saying that it was something I was working on.  Not untrue, but I didn't really want to get into the answer that leaped into my head at that moment.  Not yet with her, anyway.

Though I have taken on mistakes as a sort of constant cause to work on this year (the school year starting in September), and have found fear as a corollary to this, a post from RF's diary (and several subsequent mentions) has me thinking about something that I have been reticent to look at.  Scroll down to section VIII to see the relevant part of his post.

"Work" literature refers to this something as the chief feature, while RF prefers the term blind spot.  I like his term more:  it's more direct, and a little less intellectual-sounding*.  I've mostly avoided this subject for myself, in large part because of the nature of the concept--an extremely basic ingredient of everything that we do, to the point where we don't see it because it's literally always there.  It's daunting, and as much as I'd like to believe I've got a bit of an idea as to how this animal works, I suspect that the answer is not something I want to hear.

I get the feeling that it has something to do with giving, though.

*This is something that I really admire about RF's work:  he's taken all this work and made it completely his own.  And I love his writing style, as well:  his British humour gently coats everything, even when he writes in a highly technical manner.  I personally want to see some of these big concepts expressed in a less academic fashion, though.  Layman's terms, if you will.