will update in real time.
awake at 7am. sitting with CaaD.
i've been noticing the grind from "necessary talking only" since yesterday, even though it's only beginning today. and the proviso is "when practical", so it's only internal. still.
quiet until 9:30, then a flurry of discussion. strange how much it takes out of me.
feels twitchy. work is providing some extra sticking points; it is very difficult to just be quiet or to just focus. also trying to decide if i'm going to count looking at my phone as "unnecessary". maybe the rule will be to only count it if i'm not doing something directly related to communicating a thing or completing a task.
visit with a new dentist. it feels strange to make the choice to "allow" myself to speak, to give myself permission to just interact as needed. some anxiety rising up while discussing some necessary and expensive (monetarily and physically) procedures. a little guilt as i pull my phone out after leaving the office to shoot a quick message to work. the trip in both directions is interrupted on the ballard bridge by a boat passing.
realized after leaving a comment on FB just what i had done. so it goes.
a late and irritating work day. kitchen cleaning, and to the store for a few things. trying not to mill about, just practical choice-making. back home to eat, and finally allowing myself to relax for a while.
practicing begins around 10:30. pulling my main guitar from the case, and shortly putting it back after slacking the strings; it needs help and i can’t get it to the shop until saturday. a little time with an ovation, and it is so uncomfortable and bad-sounding i put it back. calisthenics with the taylor, which is in a different tuning and that is fine. eventually switching to the les paul so i can get some NST work in. off to bed at 1am.
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